


life is in the minding

by Chash



Series: love it is, then [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 03:39:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13115196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: Bellamy obviously wants to move in with Clarke, once his and Miller's lease runs out. He's been wanting to move in with her for a while. But it's not as simple as all that.Being an adult is kind of hard, honestly.





	life is in the minding

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for [circumst3llar](http://circumst3llar.tumblr.com/) and [breadwitchling](http://breadwitchling.tumblr.com)!

"So, Monty asked if I want to move in with him."

As statements go, this one is pretty much the least surprising one Miller could have made. Bellamy's been expecting it with some mild trepidation, because, on the one hand, he's happy for them, but on the other, he's been kind of anxious about it, and this doesn't make it any easier.

It's not as if his relationship with Clarke is  _bad_ , but he doesn't always feel like it's where it should be, if he's honest. It's not anyone's fault, it's just that they're both busy. Bellamy has grad school, Clarke has a job, and while they manage to hang out at least once a week and chat and text a lot, he doesn't feel like they're as far along as Miller and Monty, or as Raven and Wells.

Which is probably why they're the last ones to have talked about cohabitation.

He wants it, obviously. If nothing else, having Clarke living with him would mean he got to see her more, and that would be awesome. He even thinks she'll say yes.

So there is, really, absolutely nothing to be nervous about.

"Cool," he tells Miller. "That's awesome."

"Guessing you still haven't talked to Clarke about it."

"I've barely even seen her this week."

"And you couldn't have talked to her about this at any other time."

Bellamy glares at him. "Shut up. We just haven't talked about it yet. Besides, we didn't know you and Monty were moving in together yet. I didn't know I needed a new roommate."

"Uh huh." Miller regards him. "Do you need to talk about this? Is it a problem? How are your feelings?"

"My feelings are fine, shut up." He runs his hand through his hair, sighing. "I'll talk to her. It's fine. Just--what did Monty say?"

"That it would be easier to have sex if we didn't have roommates. It's not hard."

"I know," he says. "I'm going to talk to her. We're probably going to move in together. Just--she can be weird."

"You ever think that's not great?" Miller asks. "I know you like her, but you shouldn't be worried about having normal conversations."

"I'm not worried," he grumbles. "Seriously, I'm not. I'm not afraid she's going to dump me. I'm just afraid she's going to say no."

"Fair enough," says Miller. "What if she does?"

"Then we won't move in together. I don't think it's going to be a sign she wants to break up with me or anything. Just that she's not ready yet."

Miller considers this and then shrugs. "Yeah, okay. You guys have good communication and love each other. I get it."

"I think we do, yeah." He nudges Miller's shoulder. "Congratulations on moving in with your boyfriend."

"Thanks. Can't wait to say the same to you. Except, you know, girlfriend."

"Yeah," Bellamy says, smiling. "I'm looking forward to that too."

*

"Miller and Monty are moving in together," he tells Clarke, three days later.

"Cool. So where are we going?"

He chokes on his drink. "Sorry, what?"

"Raven's moving, Monty's moving, Miller's moving," she says, counting off names on her fingers. "That leaves you and me, right? We could keep our place, but then we'd need roommates. No couple needs a three-bedroom apartment. So we should probably start looking now to find a place."

He can't help it; he cracks up, laughing so hard it almost hurts.

Clarke, understandably, doesn't get it. "What?"

"You know I was nervous about this?" he asks, grinning.

"Nervous about what?"

"I thought you might not be ready for cohabitation yet."

She frowns, as if the thought had never occurred to her, and he has to hide his smile. "Sorry, do you not want to?"

"No, of course I do." He clears his throat, feeling awkward now. "I guess sometimes I feel like we're not as, uh, far along in our relationship. As the others are. So I wasn't sure you felt like it was time."

Apparently, the thought had never even occurred to Clarke. Her frown deepens, and she leaves the couch to come join him at the stove, leaning her head against him.

"I didn't know you felt that way."

"It's not  _bad_ ," he says. "Seriously. We just didn't actually plan our lives around a relationship we weren't in yet when we decided to move here."

He can feel her smile. "Yeah, I guess not. Monty and Miller didn't either. Raven and Wells pretended they didn't."

"Monty and Miller live most of their lives online anyway." He turns around so he can hold her, resting his cheek against her hair. "Seriously, it's not a bad thing, okay? We're both busy and have shitty schedules and didn't live close enough to each other this year. So I'm really looking forward to living with you and actually getting to see you every night, instead of this once or twice a week thing."

Clarke leans up for a kiss, mouth soft and warm against his, and he smiles into it.

"So, we're living together once our leases run out, right?" she asks.

"And we find a place, yeah." His smile feels like it's taking over his face. "I guess we need to start looking."

"Yeah, I guess so."

*

Right now, Bellamy and Clarke live on different sides of the city and neither of them has a car, which is part of why they don't see each other as much as Bellamy would like. It's not that they  _can't_  travel out to see each other, it's just that a lot of the time, it's really hard to coordinate. They'll get dinner in the middle and Bellamy will sleep over sometimes, since his schedule is a little more flexible, but if they can somehow find a place that they can afford that's a reasonable commute between both their places, he'll be able to go to sleep with her and wake up with her  _every fucking day_.

It's a lot to take in.

It's also way more of a pain than he remembered.

"I feel like Miller and I didn't have to do this much work," he grumbles, dropping his head onto Clarke's shoulder. They're going back to his place after a ton of viewings, and he's so done he's not even sure they're going to have sex tonight. Which would be a waste of a night together, but whatever. Sex requires energy, and his is gone.

Clarke pats his head, consoling. "You didn't, but that's probably why your apartment sucks."

"Thanks."

"It does though."

This is undeniable. His and Miller's place is kind of a nightmare, shitty heating, awful water pressure, and a useless landlord. It was, admittedly, cheap and easy, which was a priority then, but moving in with Clarke feels a lot weightier. Like he should be doing better at it.

"It does." He smiles at her. "It's not just me, right? These places aren't great."

"No, it's not just you." She wets her lips. "I did have an idea."

"Yeah? I'm all ears."

"You know I have that trust fund my dad left me?"

"The one you're saving for when you need it?"

"Yeah." She drums her fingers on his leg, like she's thinking over her phrasing. "I was talking to my mom about the whole--I told her we were getting a place together, and she asked if we were renting or buying."

"Does she know we're broke?"

"We're not, though. Or I'm not. I could afford to buy us a place."

Bellamy lifts his head to stare at her. She's looking ahead, deliberately not making eye contact, and he has to swallow. "Clarke."

"What?"

"You're serious."

"It's not a bad idea, is it?"

It's not, of course; Bellamy knows all about the economics of the situation. He understands that buying is better than renting, and that property is often a good investment. It would probably work out pretty well for Clarke, and for him.

But it's hard to wrap his brain around the whole thing. He'd thought he understood that Clarke was rich, but it hadn't occurred to him that her trust fund might actually have enough in it that she could buy them a place.

"Fuck, I don't know," he admits. "What are you thinking? Just buying a one-bedroom apartment somewhere, or--"

"I don't know. I figured I'd ask my mom? See what she thought. You're going to be here for a while, and I want to be here too, so--it's a smart investment. If we get something near Northwestern, I don't think we'd have any trouble selling it if we wanted to move somewhere else, or even just renting it for some extra money."

"You keep saying  _we_ ," he says, careful. "You know I can't afford to help out with this."

"I know. But--" She bites the corner of her mouth. "I still want it to be our place. If I do this, I'm doing it for us. I'm just doing it for us because it makes more sense. Assuming it makes more sense," she adds.

"Fuck," he says, dropping his head back against the seat. This doesn't feel like the kind of conversation they should have on a  _train_. This is serious, adult shit. He doesn't feel fully prepared for it.

"That bad?" she asks, mild.

"Not bad. I just--I need to think about it. It's a really big step."

"And you didn't even think I was ready to move in with you."

That feels even less like a conversation for public transportation, but he puts his arm around her anyway, tugging her close. "I wasn't sure," he says. "That doesn't mean I didn't want to. But buying a place is a lot."

"It is. It's also smart."

"I know." He kisses her shoulder. "I'm not saying no. I just need to get used to it. You should talk to your mom, figure out what makes the most sense. If you're ready to buy, you can do it yourself."

"I want to do it with you," she says. "I know I haven't always been great at communicating."

He grins and nudges her side. "You're actually great at communicating," he teases. "You just suck at knowing what you want."

"Shut up." She worries her lip, looking him up and down with deliberate consideration. "I know what I want, okay? You're going to be here for at least three more years, because of your sister. I'm not planning on going anywhere without you. So as far as I'm concerned, this is home, and we might as well settle in. Right?"

His mouth goes dry just from wanting it. "Yeah," he says. "Might as well."

*

"Clarke wants to buy us an apartment," he tells his sister the next week.

"You and me?" she asks, wary.

"I think just me and her. Why, did you want an apartment? I figured you'd pretty much rather die than live with me again."

She rolls her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic, Bell. I wouldn't rather  _die_. Just, like, be mildly tortured. Waterboarding is an improvement, but once it gets worse than that I'd probably just move in with you."

"And you say I'm the dramatic one."

She grins. "Takes one to know one. What does buying an apartment mean? Like--do you still pay rent? Is she just your sugar daddy? If you're paying for it with something other than money, don't tell me."

"I'd pay her rent," he says. "But I'd pay rent to her, not some landlord. And I'd actually be--" He rubs the back of his neck. "I'd actually be buying shares somehow? Fuck, I don't know how it works. But I'd end up with some amount of ownership, and if we moved I'd get some percentage of the profit from selling the place." He rubs his face. "She's got some financial adviser who's telling her how to do everything."

"And you're--upset?" O asks, dubious.

"Not upset." He rubs his face, trying to get his thoughts in order. It's been a somewhat strange week. He and Clarke have been talking about the apartment, which they were doing before, but now the whole conversation feels like too much. It's logical and reasonable and completely the right decision, and he finds it so overwhelming he can't actually process it. "It's weird, right?"

"Yeah, totally," she says, which doesn't actually help. "Your girlfriend is weirdly rich. But I figured you were used to it by now. You guys have been together for a year."

"It's not like she acts rich, most of the time. Not, like--"

"Rich enough to buy a place in the Chicago area."

"Exactly. I knew she had a trust fund, but--fuck, that's so much money."

"Do you know how much?"

"O," he starts, but she rolls her eyes.

"I'm not asking because I want to know how rich she is. Just--I don't know. If she has a billion dollars and is just hoarding it away, then I'll kind of judge her. But if it's more like--" She huffs. "If she wants to spend most of her savings on getting a place for you two, that makes sense to me. It's a comprehensible amount of money."

"Yeah." He scrubs his hand over his face. "Trust me, I know I'm being an idiot. You don't have to tell me."

"I don't know. I guess it would freak me out too? But in a kind of fairy tale way. Like you found a princess who decided to marry you and save you from a life of poverty. You're basically Cinderella here."

"She's not a princess and we're not married," he says, automatic. "But I guess I get what you mean."

"So, you can get a place big enough for me to crash, right? That's my request. Give me a little of this fairy-tale action."

Bellamy snorts. "I thought you'd rather be waterboarded."

"Than  _live_  with you," she corrects. "Crashing on the couch is still cool. But if instead of the couch you had like a nice guest bedroom for me or something--"

"Thanks for making it about you," he says, but he'll admit it: he does feel a little better.

*

That lasts until Clarke's mother shows up.

"She knows more about buying real estate than we do," Clarke says.

Bellamy is trying and failing to make his hair do something reasonable. "That doesn't mean I knew she was coming here," he says. "To help us buy real estate. Does she like me?"

"In theory." At his panicked look, she holds up her hands. "She hasn't met you! She likes you because you're my boyfriend. As far as I know, she's going to keep liking you. But I can't actually see the future."

"Okay," he says. "And she thinks this is a good idea?"

"Honestly, it's kind of creepy how thrilled she is about it. I thought she'd tell me I was moving too fast and that I might not be in Chicago for that long, but she says it's a good investment and my dad would be proud."

"And it's really fucking weird, right?"

She laughs, dropping her head on his shoulder. "It's so fucking weird. We're going to be homeowners."

"Apartment owners."

"Sorry, are apartments not homes?"

"Fine, homeowners." He considers her. "If we weren't dating, would you still be doing this?"

"I don't know. I didn't even think about it last year. I'm so used to my trust fund being--not real money. It's always been this theoretical thing I'd use when I was grown up and needed it."

"And now you are."

"Somehow." She leans up to kiss him. "My mom is going to like you. I'm not worried."

"That makes one of us," he teases, but he's not actually that worried either. If Clarke thought he needed to do anything special to impress her mother, she would have told him.

Abby's already there when they get to the restaurant, and her delight to see her daughter makes it easier for Bellamy to imagine the two of them getting along. They both love Clarke; that's a good place to start.

"And this is my boyfriend, Bellamy," she says, once her mother's stopped hugging her.

"Of course, I recognize him from Facebook. It's so nice to finally meet you, Bellamy. Clarke's told me so much about you."

"Same," he says, which is only half a lie. Clarke does talk about her mother, but mostly in the context of how their relationship got a lot more complicated after her father died, how both of them were warped by grief. It makes sense to him, but it's always made it hard for him to get a good reading on how Clarke feels about her mother, how well they really get along.

To his relief, they're easy together. Part of it is definitely that Clarke and her mother are cut from the same cloth, and both of them love a project, and buying a new place is the kind of thing that's easy to get really into. Bellamy still feels a little out of his depth, but he's not actually bad with  _money_. It's just that he's just good with money on a different scale than they are. He's never had enough money to invest it, but he knows how to get a good deal, and he knows what a good deal looks like. Plus, for the first time pretty much ever, he's actually got the opportunity to get everything he wants out of a living space.

So that's pretty awesome.

By the end of the meal, they've got a list of places to see the next day and an action plan going forward, and it still feels a little like they've kicked into overdrive, way past where they were supposed to be at this point, but it's not as if he's opposed to getting more serious with Clarke.

He's pretty thrilled about it, honestly.

"How'd it go?" Miller asks, when they get back to the apartment. He's going to see Monty soon, so they'll have the apartment to themselves, as a bonus.

"I think good," Bellamy says, glancing at Clarke. "Right?"

" _Well_ ," she teases, and he rolls his eyes.

"Shut up, writing tutor. Fine, it went  _well_. I think she liked me. Right?"

"Yeah, she liked you. You want me to invest in real estate, so--"

"The sign of a great boyfriend," he says, with a roll of his eyes, and she just leans up to kiss his cheek.

But once they're alone, she curls up against his side and says, "You know you are a great boyfriend, right? I kind of feel like I've been taking for granted that you know how great you are and how much I love you."

It's one of those things he wants to deny, but Clarke's looking both honest and worried, so he makes himself stop and think it over. "Maybe, yeah," he admits. "It's not like I don't think you love me. I know you do. But I guess I would have said--I'm still used to thinking of you as not being totally sold on dating."

"Really?"

"Maybe not exactly that, but--yeah, kind of." He huffs. "Fuck, I don't know how to explain it. I know you love me, I never thought you didn't. But I guess I was always sure I liked you and a lot less sure you were sure about me."

"Fuck. I'm sorry. I know I'm a mess, but--I love you so much, okay? Seriously, I never even thought we wouldn't be living together by this time. I just--you're amazing, Bellamy." She bites the corner of her mouth. "I guess I never got over thinking I shouldn't let you know how much I liked you. Apparently."

He leans in, nuzzles her neck. "I know you like me. Just--not how much."

"I guess I thought it was kind of romantic, like--I like you against my better judgement, but honestly, that's kind of bullshit."

"It wasn't against your better judgement, it was against your worse judgement."

"You know what I mean."

"I know. And I know you love me, seriously. Just--" He swallows hard. "Yeah. I didn't know you were sure."

"Okay, well--I am. And I'm sorry I'm not always good at this stuff. But--you're a top priority for me. I want to always be in the same place you are. I plan my future around you."

He catches her jaw with his hand, pulls her up for a kiss. "Yeah," he says. "I plan my future around you too. So--"

"So let's find a place and buy it," she says, smiling. "That's the next step, right?"

His own grin feels too large for his face, but he can't help it. "Apparently, yeah. That's it."

*

"At least you're not having a baby," Raven says, and Bellamy snorts.

"Wow, that's how you're starting our celebratory dinner?" he asks. "Really?"

"I was worried. I don't know how Clarke's ever going to give up alcohol long enough to have a kid, I don't want to deal with that yet."

"Who says I am?" Clarke asks. "We don't have to have biological kids. We could foster or adopt. We've got options."

"And either way, we're not doing it for a while," Bellamy says.

"You did say we were celebrating your official entry into adulthood," Monty says. "My guesses were baby, engagement, and one of you converting to Judaism. I associate the phrase  _entry into adulthood_  very heavily with bar and bat mitzvahs," he adds. "Which I don't think you'd actually have, but still. Old habits die hard."

"Yeah, none of the above," he says. "Just buying a place."

"Which is actually such an adult thing it didn't even occur to me." Monty shakes his head. "Seriously, that's, like--how does that happen?"

"Clarke's rich," says Raven. "She was just raised to share our human values, so you can't always tell."

Clarke raises her glass. "Yeah, that's the trick."

"So, what's the place like?" Wells asks. Bellamy doesn't know him that well, but he does appreciate that he tries to be a nice, supportive friend. It's a refreshing change of pace from all their asshole supportive friends. "Do you have pictures?"

"Yeah!" says Clarke. "It's really perfect. Closer to Northwestern than my place, but that's going to be good if we ever want to sell. And I like the neighborhood. My commute's different but not any longer, and Bellamy's is a lot shorter. And it's our place and we can move in at the start of next month, and we  _own it_ ," she adds, with the kind of warm excitement that makes Bellamy's entire life better.

Not that it needs the help, at this point. His life is going incredibly well.

"Yeah, Bellamy's been looking at furniture for weeks," says Miller. "They're nesting. I assume kids are coming."

Clarke takes a long drink of her cocktail, in a very pointed way. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. No kids, no marriage. Or, not yet." She shoots him a small, somewhat shy smile. "We're not in a hurry. This is just when it made sense to get a place. We were already moving in together, so--yeah. We're going at the pace that makes sense for us. Kids and marriage will take a while."

"You say that, but you're already basically married," says Monty.

Maybe no one thinks their relationship is as serious as their friends'. Maybe everyone always feels less secure about their lives than it appears from the outside. But it doesn't really matter, as long as everyone's happy. And Bellamy still can't believe how happy he is, sometimes.

"Like Clarke said, we're not in a hurry," he says. "We're exactly where we want to be."


End file.
